I can face the world again ..

I can face the world again ..

….. I have had my last session with the psychologist this week!   I am back to being ME  ….

“I am that I am … perfect, powerful and whole”

The psychologist’s door is always open for me if I need to go back and chat, but for the meantime, I am doing fine!!  My doctor still thinks the anxiety is/was linked to the yo-yoing blood pressure, which is now under control.  I am still on a tranquiliser – every day – but he will advise me on how to wean myself off those gradually, once we get home from our holiday – and we leave on Sunday …. Sunday … can’t wait !!!!  🙂

I couldn’t thank ‘my’ psychologist enough for what she has done to help me but she said it wasn’t only her .. it was everything that I did to get myself out of that dark place I was in.    My world crumbled 10 weeks ago and I have put it back together again ….

… with the help of so many people, I might add!!!  My wonderfully patient family and friends are on the top of that list !!  .. this is like the Oscars … “I would like to thank ……” 🙂

… keeping myself active has helped enormously .. adding an extra yoga class – I go twice a week now – pilates once a week and a keep fit class also once a week.  All in the mornings, and then look after the boys in the afternoons.

…. Cranial Sacral Therapist who was a tremendous help – adding to the way in which I handled ‘the alien’ … turned ‘him’ into a ‘her’ (turning the negative into a positive) .. gave her wings and another form altogether and with the help of the psychologist and my yoga teacher , I eventually ‘saw’ those wings as angels wings being protective, giving me love … which in turn, once I have love within, I can give it to others.   Explanation here – when I had the feeling of ‘the alien’ which crept under my skin, with a heavy feeling on my shoulders and chest …  once I was able to change that heaviness into wings which I was able to, with the power of my mind,  become lighter, larger and protective … it wasn’t easy but I did it .. so whenever that feeling came over me, I transferred it into protective wings and ‘lifted them’ off my chest so that they were just above, giving me space to breathe freely and deeply allowing a golden mist to flow into my body … the golden mist is filled with love ….  

….. my yoga teacher has been an absolute star!!  Yoga creates harmony between body and mind.  My yoga teacher does the most amazing relaxation after every class and reads passages from a book, taking the mind on a visual journey – into a different space … to another world.  I have done yoga for years now, so I find it easy to do.  It is so beneficial when your mind is all over the place .. lost it’s focus, lost it’s direction, lost it’s way!

… reflexology was something else I tried and since then have rubbed my feet with oils every night concentrating on those anxiety/stress pressure points

… I have a CD in the car – “101 Ways to Transform your Life”  by  Dr Wayne W. Dyer which I listen to when I don’t have the boys in the car .. otherwise I have to listen to their Beautiful Creatures CD’s !!   My psychologist has suggested I get more CD’s .. rather listen instead of read …

… Pray … when we were at Kylemore Abbey in Ireland – a place I found to be so very peaceful, I picked up several copies of a prayer written by the Benedictine Nuns and brought it home for all the girls in the family .. mainly for my DIL who was very ill at the time, but I thought we could all benefit from the words … from the prayer.   My copy is on my mirror in my bedroom and I read it every morning and night.  

… inspirational friends and people I have chatted with, acquaintances and complete strangers, have helped in ways they cannot imagine!! 

And in turn .. I have helped two people !!  I am so thrilled about this!    I gave them the name of my psychologist as I felt they needed to speak to someone, like I did, and they have.  I told my psychologist the other day that I was the one who referred them to her … and I needed commission !!   

I would not have been able to be where I am today, if it was not for her.    Once my doctor had ruled out any medical problems, he suggested seeing a psychologist, rather apprehensively as I think some people wouldn’t dream of going to seek psychological help .. I jumped to it straight away …. I wanted to be ME again as soon as possible.  It’s taken much longer than I anticipated but I have made it …. I AM BACK   !!!!

5 Replies to “I can face the world again ..”

  1. Welcome back for now, cause that holiday is close. I really hope the holiday will make the final change that you need to get back your old self. Then at least hubby wouldn’t have to chace you around the yard with dartgun in hand to get the tranquiliser in you. 🙂 Have a stunning trip.

  2. Well done Avril! 🙂 And you have helped me cope too with your kind comments, and sharing that prayer, which I’ve been praying too! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I look forward to seeing some lovely photographs! Have fun! 😉

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